Our parents took care of us by providing us with a love, comfort, food, shelter, etc. They watched us grow up and helped us plan for our future. They gave us unconditional love.
Their only reason for this is love, nothing else. We close our eyes and can see them young, healthy and playing with us as children.
We remember them strong, agile and ready to take over the world. They protected us from all and any harm.
They taught us the facts of life so that one day we could do the same for our children. Now they are older and the time has come for us to care for them. Our parents never thought that one day we would have to care for them. Many parents never discuss with their children financial information. It makes them feel uncomfortable; others because they never thought they would need to be taken care of, looked after.
They believed that they would be able to take care of themselves without help. When this happens it can be hard for all in the family, both parents and children. While your parents are able to take care of themselves, as hard as it may be, you have to sit down and discuss the future. No matter how difficult it could be questions have to be asked and plans need to be made.
HEALTH ISSUES
To prevent us from worrying, parents will keep any and all health issues they may have to themselves. This is not a good thing. Check on your parents as much as you can and ask the necessary questions. Try to go with them on one of their visits to the doctors. It is important to know everything so that we can be prepared to make sure we can take care of them properly and they never have to worry as to what will happen to them.
LIVING ARRANGEMENTS
It sounds awful but it must be done. No one knows what will happen tomorrow and surprises can be hard for all involved. Put everything in order, will they be able to live on their own? Can they live with you? Do you have to prepare yourself to look for assisted living facilities? These are questions you have to ask and things you have to plan for in the future. This will ease the difficulty of dealing with any situations when the time comes.
DOCUMENTS
Find out where they keep all their important papers, wills, insurance policies, birth certificates, marriage certificates, social security cards, etc. If it’s kept in a security box, have them add your name in case of an emergency.
FINANCES
Hopefully our parents have a nice little nest egg for their future. Find out about their pensions, savings and social security income. This is important; it will make all the difference how well they are cared for. Should the day come for them to have a nurse round the clock or live in a nursing home, they can get the best possible care. This can put a big financial burden on all if the funds are not available. Medicare does not pay for many things they will need later on in life.
POWER OF ATTORNEY / WILL
Talk to them and have them sign a power of attorney and a health care directive. Should they be unable to care for themselves, this allows you to handle all for them. As for the will, this is to make sure their last wishes are taken care of as they wanted them to be. There is no easy way to ask these questions, it feels uncomfortable. It also reminds you that one day will come when they won't be around anymore. As hard as it is, it has to be done. We must be prepared for any situation that may arise. By doing this for them, we are showing them that we love them and appreciate them. We want to show them that if necessary, we can take care of them, the same way they took care of us. Life has many surprises; don’t let this be one of them.
Remember your parents may not want to give in, they feel it would mean they lose control of their lives. This is not the case of course. If there is more than one sibling, sit down, talk about these things, and discuss how this will be presented to your parents so they don’t feel they are being attacked because of their age. It must be presented to them as only a matter of concern and preparation. Don’t wait until it’s too late when it’s harder for them to understand. Do this with time, while everyone is healthy and able to think clearly.