It seems that when we get older, we forget what it’s like being a teenager.  It wasn’t always a walk in the park; there was always some type of situation or problem going on. Now that we are older we believe that teenagers have it easy.

It’s not a big deal; all they have to do is study, get good grades and think of what they want to be when they grow up. Well think back, was it like that?  It’s true that times have changed and taking that into consideration, it means it’s even harder for them.  It’s not just about school and good grades, there is so much more to it.

As a parent, hopefully, we have realized that by now.  When we turn on the news, we hear horror stories about violence in schools.  There are videos of teenagers beating up on another kid for material things, for the fun of it, or because they didn’t like what they said. Peer pressure for teenagers is at an all time high.

They are dared into doing things they know is not right.  There are more teenagers smoking now then before.  They are having sex at an earlier age, as early as 12 years old.  They find that going out and drinking is just great, it’s fun.  Why is this all happening?  Why are our teenagers going through all this?

Many of us, when we were growing up were not always told the truth.  Our parents figured that the less we knew the better because that would keep us out of trouble.  That was not true.  Our curiosity starts when we are about to enter puberty.  We wanted to know what those feelings we felt meant.  We wanted to talk to someone who would understand us, listen to us and offer advice.

A mistake many of our parents may have done is called our feelings or thoughts silly.  They would just brush them off as though they were not important at all.  Hopefully, now that we are parents, we remember that and we are more understanding with our kids.  Believe it or not, they do want to talk to you, they want to tell you what is going on but as an adult.  They feel belittled when they are talked down to instead of talked to.

Trying to find the right words to get them to open up is hard but not impossible.  A good way to start a conversation is to let them know you are there for them.  Talk to them in a manner they would understand.  Don’t try using their own terminology that will only irritate them.  When talking to them, they have to feel that the conversation or questions are sincere.  Generic topics, such as how was your day, so anything new, etc will only upset them.  The only answer you will get is ok or fine.  They don’t feel you are interested.

Teenagers will fall in love, on and off, as they are growing up.  There will be a lot of heart breaks.  A girl wants her mom’s comfort but if the mom says, oh you’ll get over it, it’s no big deal.  The chance of building a relationship is gone.  Listen to them; remember your own heart break.  It wasn’t easy, it hurt a lot and well, you probably wished you could have talked to your mom about it.

As a parent, always take every opportunity given to you to start a conversation with your kids.  For instance, there is an outfit they like and you believe it looks ridiculous.  Ask them why they like it why that particular style and if you can’t get it for them, tell them why.  Don’t just say, because I said no, that doesn’t go well at all.

If you notice that your teenager is going through hard times, get them to open up but don’t push them.  At times it could be just their mood but most likely there is more to it.  They could be angry or sensitive because they are being picked on.  There are a lot of bullies and they don’t go away.  Give them advice they will understand.  Help them as much as you can, talk to them, open the lines of communication.  You want to be one of those parents that know what is going on.  It’s true; it’s hard but worth it.