It seems that every other person we run into or meet has a story about infidelity. There are two types of stories.
The first one is about how their past or present partner cheated on them. The second one is about how they cheated on the past or present partner.
No matter which of the two stories it may be, they are both heartbreaking. Cheating on a partner is basically saying you don’t respect them at all. That the vows or promises made to each had no meaning whatsoever.
Once this happens, there is no trust in the relationship and it is one of the reasons many of them end up in divorce or separation. Now, when we hear a story of infidelity, we automatically assume it was the man that did it. Well, it’s true; men are more likely to cheat. However, as women become more financially independent, they are starting to behave just like men when it comes to infidelity. Many get away with this all the time, their affairs are never discovered. Once the fling is over, they continue their relationship with their partner as though nothing ever happened. How do they do this? How can a person be with their partner and also a secret lover? What pushes them to make this choice?
Well, it is said that at times their home life is less than desirable. They are not satisfied in their relationship. The reasons include lack of passion, appreciation, jealousy, opportunity, unconditional love, attention, etc. One other excuse used is to inflict pain on their partner. Some when they are not happy or have found out they were cheated on will take revenge. Whatever the excuse may be, they didn’t think things through. Many will say they never once thought of the consequences they would have to deal with once their affair was discovered. In their mind, they felt that they weren’t really hurting anyone, not even themselves. Yet they hurt everyone in their family and those close to them. Not only that, what if the person they were having an affair had their own family? Ask them if it was worth it.
It’s true their partner will be devastated when the affair is discovered but what if they have children? Did they think about them? Once the trust is lost in a relationship, to build it back up is difficult and in many cases impossible. This little game of deceit will cost them their relationship, end up in divorce. How do they explain this to the children? Many children end up growing up and hating that one parent for breaking up the family. Friends and family will lose respect for them and will back away in fear that they will become part of this mess. They will be remembered for their affairs and scandal caused by it.
Here is something we hear all the time. If a man cheats on a woman he is a cad and a jerk but it’s expected because he is a man and supposedly weak. He let’s all believe that he can’t handle temptation. Funny thing is they can, it’s just that this excuse is out there for them to use and they take advantage of it. Even worst is society seems to accept it and move on as though nothing is wrong with this. It’s even worse, if the affair he had was an office romance, most likely he will keep his job. It’s the woman that is let go.
But when it comes to the woman, she has so much more to lose. First of all, she might end up getting pregnant and unable to explain it. Even if she hides it, somewhere in the future it will haunt her. Their reputation changes from a loving and caring woman to a cheap and easy tramp. They lose the respect of their loved ones and unlike a man; society frowns on this and will not tolerate it. If she is a mother, her children will end up paying some of the consequences. Their friends will call their mother names, making them feel ashamed and hurt.
No matter how you look at it, infidelity only causes turmoil to those involved and those around them. The pleasure they may have felt during this time will be quickly forgotten and replaced with court battles, arguments, shame and loss of respect. So before making a mistake that will affect you for the rest of your life, think before you act. Separations will cost you so much more in both financially and emotionally.