When we are in love, we try to protect our relationship as much as possible. However, it can get out of hand.
We can become destructive and obsessive at times. What can destroy a relationship besides, lies and cheating? Jealousy, the famous green-eyed monster can end it all and quickly.
Why do we get jealous? Believe it or not, its human nature but how we handle it is what counts. Jealousy is caused by different reasons such as low self esteem, insecurities, fear of abandonment, etc.
The list goes on and on. We have seen movies where there is a couple and they are in love. They may never have felt love like that before and they will do anything to keep it. The minute someone walks into the picture and seems threatening, their jealousy grows more and more and they end up doing something ridiculous. Now, movies take everything in life and do their best to show a humorous side to it. It’s true in some cases with jealousy, it can be funny.
Remember a time you may have been in the right place at the right time for a good show. There is a couple and let’s say the man is talking to a beautiful woman. His partner will come running and literally take him over. They might kiss them passionately; begin to hold on to them as though their life depended on it. They may even go as far as to fight with the woman; it can be funny for us to watch. But their partner can be truly embarrassed. However, some men and women find it sexy and get turned on by their partner’s actions.
The idea of their partner running up to them and fighting for their love is incredible to some. It doesn’t matter to them that their partner looks like some fool rolling around on the floor getting the life beaten out of them. But there are those of us that find it appalling and can’t wait to get out of there. This situation is the worst one there is. There are different levels of jealousy.
- There is the more calmer type where they may feel a bit concerned knowing their partner is going out to a bar or a club and there might be others there they may observe. Or worst yet, that some person might drool all over them and they are not there to push them away.
- There is the healthy jealousy, where the man may not like the idea of his partner going out with a bunch of guys or vice versa. For men, when another man flirts with their partner they are bothered by it. Not because they are insecure but because this man may be offending her and she says nothing. He’s protecting her honor. A woman finds it disrespectful when another woman hits on their partner and get upset if the man doesn’t say, sorry I’m attached.
- Then there is the obsessive type of jealousy where the partner pretty much keeps the person caged. They check them out constantly and become so aggressive that they can actually become violent. When this occurs, it’s time to move on.
Every one of us has felt jealous at one time or another. Heck some of us became so jealous that we probably walked up to the other person and intentionally spilled a drink or maybe walked into them. This was done with the intention of just pushing them away from your partner without being too obvious. That can be accepted. However, if you felt so jealous that you flew into a rage and became aggressive or violent, that is unhealthy. It’s time to seek help and most important of all, it’s not love that you feel, it’s an obsession.
If you realize you are jealous, learn to deal with it and contain it. If it’s too hard then seek professional help. Of course, if you get out of hand and hysterical, a good smack upside the head might just knock some sense into you. Whenever you feel that urge to run and beat the heck out of a person that is just talking to your partner, remember a scene you may have been present at that didn’t turn out so well. If you feel this happens often and are provoked, talk to your partner. Let them know how you feel but in a good way. Maybe they can help you cope with your jealousy. It may be that is all you need reassurance.