Just about every magazine we have read or program we have seen, talks mostly about women’s feelings.  They are full of information regarding how they think, deal with problems, feelings, breakups, etc.

In all honesty, it is easier for a woman to express her feelings without being ridiculed.

Men, however, find it hard but it doesn’t mean they don’t go through the same situations or have feelings. It’s not common to find men talking about feelings, breakups, that they are lonely, etc.

Unfortunately, other men find it funny and will ridicule each other, even though they feel the same way.  They keep those feelings bottled up for a long time and rarely ever speak them out loud.  Some men do have women friends and they talk to them.  It’s their only outlet. So, if a man does not express his true feelings, do we consider him cold, distant?  We shouldn’t, they are being stereotyped, just as women are that they are too chatty, too open.

None of these are correct for either gender.  So how do men deal with their feelings?  They do many of the things women do but slightly different.  One popular way to drown out those feelings is by drinking, lots and lots of alcohol.  They will go out with their buddies, put on a brave face as though nothing matters and drink into oblivion.  Of course, we all know that when a person is drunk, they will have loose lips and this will be their opportunity to talk.  Later on they can say it was due to the alcohol, laugh it off and keep walking.

While many women stay home, crying and dealing with their break up, some men will run out and quickly start dating.  They will start flirting and having flings, anything they can do to forget their ex.  Usually it’s easy to get over an ex, if it was you who broke it off and there wasn’t much love there when it ended.  But if it’s a relationship where he was truly in love, it will be difficult.  This will affect them in later relationships because their trust will be hard to earn.

Another way they try to forget their ex is work longer hours and jump into any project they can get their hands on.  It’s a matter of keeping busy.  They might spend more time in the gym, not because they want to really enhance their looks but to work out the tension, the anger, the hurt, etc.  One thing many people don’t realize, they may do the same thing women do.  For instance, they will eat until they explode and watch television until their minds go numb.  The object is to simply forget everything.

Distraction is the key word when it comes to getting rid of feelings that can’t be expressed.  It’s understandable.  Anyone that has been through an awful breakup will admit that they may have done some crazy things to forget but in all honesty, it doesn’t always work.  To deal with problems, feelings or breakups, the only positive thing is to face it, work it out and move on.

So, is it fair to assume that because it’s a man he should not express his feelings?  Should he keep it bottled up because he is a man?  No, it’s not correct to assume that.  Just as women, keeping feelings bottled up and not dealing with them the proper way will come back and haunt them.  For instance, if they were involved in a serious relationship and their breakup was due to a fling.  Not talking about it, expressing how they felt will haunt them in the future.  Actually it would haunt anyone.  Their next relationship there will be distrust and cause them to believe that this new person in their life is cheating too.

It’s not healthy, no matter whom it is, to bottle up emotions, drown pain, or act as though nothing ever happened.  Express your feelings, talk about them, let it go and next time you meet someone else you will have a healthy relationship.  Remember, men have feelings too and should be allowed to express them without being ridiculed.  After all, they are human.