When were young, we may have had some type of sibling rivalry. We all know kids argue, fight, yell, get angry, etc. As we grow up, some of us get over it and some of us never do. There are many of us that are close our siblings and will pretty much do anything to help them.
This to us is a great thing because it shows there is love between them and they care for each other. Then there are those that grow up arguing all the time and as they grow older maintain a distance. When they do find each other all they do is bicker.
As children, we were taught by our parents to help each other. That family always comes first and we should be ready to help in a time of need. However, some of us have siblings that seem to always need a helping hand. We can’t find it in our hearts to say no and we find ourselves in difficult situations. We find ourselves being consumed by our siblings problems and creating havoc for us at home. Our partners at first don’t mind if we help our siblings, they even give a helping hand. But when this seems to be a never ending pattern and it seems to be taking up all our time, they will become angry.
Some of our siblings don’t seem to realize that we have a life and have to pay attention to it. We may love them and help them but this does not mean we have to do this every single time and placing our own personal lives in jeopardy. We can’t seem to tell them no when they ask for help but this is because we feel guilty at times. Our parents make us feel that we have to help no matter what and that it is our obligated to do so. This is not true. We are there to help but when our siblings seem to be in trouble all the time, we do have to begin to say no. How else will they learn?
Then there are those problems when it involves the sibling’s education level and financial status. They feel that due to their achievements, all must bow at their feet. It’s great that they achieved what they wished for but that does not make them more important than the other siblings. Everyone is different and choose different paths in life. While, some love the hectic life the others enjoy taking life a bit slower. As long as your sibling is not asking you for help and is not a burden to the family, why bother them. Why not let them live as they wish. Why must they believe that their status in society gives them the right to tell all what they should or should not do? Everyone has a right to an opinion and can give advise but not impose them on those around them.
It’s not just their own status level that they will flaunt or use to influence those around them; they will also use their partner’s status. They truly believe that due to their status, their siblings will accept all that is said to them. It doesn’t matter if what they say is hurtful or untrue, they must accept it. The sibling can’t give their opinion, talk, or comment about anything because they are not, in their eyes, worthy enough to speak.
In some families religious beliefs are very important and at times, it is used to dominate or control each other. Whenever something goes wrong, there is always one preaching on how all should share, understand, forgive, help, etc. They feel they are untouchable and perfect in every way. They will drive their siblings crazy and cause them to get angry. In their eyes, all we do is wrong. We are the worst siblings and seem to be the only ones falling from grace. But for those siblings, remember, there is a saying, “Practice what you preach”. We can’t go around pointing fingers if we are not doing so great either.
These types of sibling rivalry will make any family gathering horrific. Some will not even bother showing up and those that do come with a plan to make everyone’s life miserable. As brothers and sisters, we should learn to love and respect each other. Accept that each of us have different beliefs, way of doing things, goals, desires, etc. We must also realize no one is better than the other and at no time should we use our achievements to make others feel worst. We should always help each other but also remember we have to learn to do for ourselves and not depend on everyone else.