Once a couple decides their marriage is truly over, it’s time to get a divorce. Now, this isn’t an easy decision, many couples may have tried counseling for years or dealt with the situation as long as they could.
However, no matter what they did, the marriage just couldn’t survive. So, now that they have decided to get divorced, it’s time to get everything in order.
If there are children involved, the parents must take them into consideration. They should sit down with them and let them know what is happening.
Children will get upset and tend to blame themselves or the parents. This is the time that the couple should let them know that they are not at fault, no one is. It’s just that it’s time to move on. However, some couples don’t think this way. They may harbor anger or hate towards their spouse and when they decide to get divorce they plan to hurt them as much as possible. But is this really a good idea? Is it healthy for everyone involved? The answer is no, even if they were betrayed. By hurting the other person, we gain what, the pleasure of seeing them suffer? It doesn’t work that, everyone ends up even angrier and bitter.
How many of us have friends that have gone through bitter divorces and as the years pass, they are still angry and unable to move on. Their children suffered through the divorce and the aftermath. They have problems at school, are angry at both parents, retaliate or become depressed. Some parents have used their children as weapons against each other. This hurts the children even more and will make sure they have problems later on in their adult life.
A suggestion is that before proceeding with the divorce, the couple should sit down and talk peacefully. First thing, if you have children, put them first and consider their feelings. How they will be affected by all this. Remember that at one time, you were truly in love with each other. No matter what has happened in the present, there was something in the past that attracted you to each other. The years you spent together weren’t always bad. Also consider the fact that you have friends in common and just because you are divorcing, it doesn’t mean you don’t get along with each other’s family.
A lot of couples start out friendly and somewhere along the line, the lawyers take over and it’s a bitter battle. Basically it comes down to how much you can get and how much you can make the other suffer. To avoid this whole ugly battle, consider a collaborative divorce (CD). It starts out by both parties signing a commitment agreement which states that neither will go to court. Instead, the couple, along with their lawyers, will sit down and take care of business.
These discussions continue until both parties come to an agreement that they can live with. This is very beneficial to both. It’s less expensive and less painful. This way, the marriage can end amicably and no one will suffer. It is much quicker, takes about 18 weeks, instead of years battling it out in court. Once the divorce papers are signed, each person now has the opportunity to start a new life. Hopefully, since the divorce ended peacefully, the pain of it all will be less.
Many of us will find this hard to believe but some couples, after divorce, become friends again. They are able to let it all and begin a new relationship. If you thing about it, It’s not such a bad idea, especially since they were probably friends before they were married. Plus, if they have children, it makes it so much easier for them to deal with the break up. A divorce does not have to be ugly, it can be civil. So, if you have come to this decision, remember, do it peacefully and as painless as possible. Avoid the courts and contact a CD lawyer. You will both be happy you made this choice.