We have been through break-ups at one time or another.  Some of these break-ups can be really tough.

There are times when we feel we will never get over losing that person.  When two people are together, they become accustomed to each other, one more than the other and the more time they spent together, the harder it is to let go.

We are so distraught that is hard to do anything. It’s even hard to go to work, we rather be home and deal with no one.

One of the reasons we don’t want to deal with anyone is because we really don’t want to hear that pep talk.  The one where they tell you that there is someone special out there for you, you are better off without them.  The best one is that they didn’t deserve you.  Whether this is true or not, we don’t want to hear this, we want to deal with it at our own pace.  We loved this person, they meant the world to us and basically we miss them with all our hearts.  We need this time to mourn because this is what we are doing, mourning the loss of this relationship.

One good way to make this go a little faster is to have a good cry, as long as we need to.  Basically let all the pain out.  It will make us feel exhausted and we will end up going to sleep, most likely we need it.  Now, there comes a time we have to move on but we can’t.  All we do is torture ourselves, inflicting more pain.  It’s almost as though we just don’t won’t to let go ever or forget this person.  At times, it’s because we are hopeful that we will be together again.  This is not healthy at all and we can’t continue on this path.  So what do we do?  What should we not do?

We have to stop calling them.  It’s true, it’s hard to do because we want to hear their voice and it gives us comfort.  However, since we are at a vulnerable state of mind, anything they say may be misinterpreted.    Not only that, we may keep going back, getting whatever attention we can out of them, dragging this on for a longer period of time.  All the time, not realizing we are wasting our time and causing ourselves more pain.  Also, giving the other person the opportunity to use us because they know we are vulnerable.

Definitely avoid seeing them as much as possible.   We tend to go to all the places they love, just to run into them.  It comes to a point that we look like stalkers.  What do we gain by doing this?  Absolutely nothing, except get hurt even more, especially if we happen to see them with someone new.   Don’t look through any old pictures, greeting cards, emails we may have from them for a while.  If the need to get rid of them is strong then do so, but remember later on there may be regrets.  Of course, items such as a hair brush, clothes, colognes, shoes, etc you definitely want to get rid of those.  Pack them up and have a mutual friend deliver them.

Now there will be a time when it will be unavoidable and the two will run into each other.  Be civil, no matter what happened between the two, at one time both loved each other and shared part of your lives.  Show no signs of hurt or that they are missed.  This is more for us then them.  It’s our way of saying we have moved on and accepted the separation, even if it’s not true.

One bad habit we all have is we let ourselves go.  We stop taking care of ourselves.  We don’t care what we look like, how we dress, what we eat and don’t even bother going out.  After a while this has to change.  What we should do is go out, get a haircut, a new outfit, and go dancing with friends.  Spend time getting to know ourselves again and learn from our past relationship.

Most of all we should treat ourselves to a getaway.   It can be a long weekend or a week vacation.  It should be somewhere we always wanted to go to and relaxing.  This is what we call our "me time" and we deserve it.  Keeping busy, treating ourselves, being with friends and family will help us get over this pain.  It’s not impossible, we just need time.