Women have thought about marriage and family since they were young. Many played house and remember standing in front of a mirror looking like a young bride.
They also remember holding their dolls in their arms and letting the doll know that she was its mom and would always be there.
The little girl grew up, graduated from high school, went to college and now has a career. But this entire time, inside of her, she still wanted that world she dreamed of as a child, a home and a family.
For many, this dream came true. For others, they dedicated so much time to their career or spent too much time on their own that now, at a certain age, they realize, time is running out. As the women get older, it’s harder and harder to find the right person for them. The person they would want to settle down with and have a family. When they have found that person, they come across obstacles. The man they are with doesn’t want children just yet and they want to wait a few more years. After a while, these words seem more like an excuse to avoid having a family.
Another scenario women experience is that they go through fertility treatments in order to help them conceive due to a problem or to conceive a baby quicker since they are up in age. While doing these treatment the men will agree to them but as she gets deeper and deeper into them, he starts with excuses. He will do everything to avoid going to the doctor, giving his sperm for insemination, testing, etc. Again, time goes by and nothing.
Women don’t have the option to wait around forever to have a child of their own. Unlike men, there will come a day where she can no longer conceive a baby and this is what pushes women to make a decision. Do they want to stay with this man or go on and achieve her dream of becoming a mother? Well, a lot of women today are having babies on their own. It is not uncommon and nothing wrong with this either. These are women who have lots of love to give and will be great mothers.
How do they go about getting the sperm? Well some women will go to a sperm bank. They will do a background check on different facilities. Some of these facilities have been around for years and have a good history. Once she chooses a facility, they can use this information to choose the right donor:
- Physical characteristics
- Donor’s medical history and family medical history
- Type of person they are (hobbies, education, talents, etc)
- Willing to be known donor (once the child is 18 they can contact them)
Some facilities may even have additional information to help women choose the right donor:
- Long donor files – more in-depth information about the donor in detail, written by them.
- Donor audio files – they are CD’s about 15 to 20 minutes long. These reveal a lot about the donor, their thoughts, opinions, personal values and relationships with family and friends.
They also have the option of asking a close friend. Many will not believe this but some women may have discussed this with a friend that does not have the time to have a relationship or form a family but wouldn’t mind having a child without the ties of family. They will even ask to be there when the child is growing up. So, if the desire of being a mom is strong and true, being single is not an obstacle.
Of course, there will come a time where there will be questions she will have to deal with. Who is the father? Why did she choose this path and not wait for the right man? What will you tell your child when they ask for their father? Though these are hard questions, they are not impossible to answer. What she should remember is that she is doing this to have a child she will love and cherish. She is not the only woman that has gone through this. If those around you at first feel uncomfortable don’t worry, they will come around. They will be there for you and once they meet that baby, they will melt and fall in love.