Do you remember when you first met? When the relationship first started the chemistry that you felt between the two of you? It was so incredible that when you finally had sex it was out of this world. Relationships are based on many things, such as love, friendship, companionship and of course sex.
At the beginning it seemed you couldn’t get enough of each other, sex was fantastic and this went on for quite a while but eventually things started to change. As a relationship progresses and becomes stronger, we start to become less and less intimate.
We believe that since we are not in a committed relationship that is no longer a top priority. Due to this other things in our life became more important and we being to make up excuses as to why we are not in the mood for sex. We say we are just tired, have to get up early in the morning or the kids may hear us in the next room. It’s true, we are truly busy and we all have hectic schedules, too much to do. But we have to find time for each and be more intimate.
The lack of sex can put a strain in the relationship. When this happens, you begin to wonder if the other person is no longer attracted to you, are they cheating on you or do they find you boring. Another thing we don’t seem to realize is that this can cause a relationship to end, even if they are in love with you. It’s time to take a step back and look at our relationship more closely.
What can we do to bring the fireworks back into our bedroom? How do we make changes to our sex life? It’s time to be a little bold, get rid of the excuses and if necessary initiate sex.
FOREPLAY
One thing that is lacking most in our sex life is foreplay. Since we seem to believe we have no time for sex, we just jump right in and it’s over. This leaves the couple unsatisfied and due to this, they are less intimate. It’s just not exciting to them. By doing foreplay, it can get the motor started. Now this is not just in the bedroom. Foreplay can be done anytime. You could send your partner a little message, hinting at what they can expect when they come home. You can call them and tell them you love them. Put a little sweetness into your voice, be sensual. If you do this, the minute you see each other, you are already fully aroused and ready to go. Both of you will be truly satisfied.
AVOID CRITICISM
We are sensitive and when we are criticized we tend to hold back. During intimacy, no matter what happens, never criticize your partner. Never make comments about their bodies, their lack of coordination, quickness or slowness and especially how they just didn’t do it right. These types of comments will wound a person and it’s a sure way to end sex in a relationship. This will only make your partner defensive.
TIME FOR LOVE
It may sound odd but if you are both truly busy then schedule a time to have sex. You already set time aside for other events in your life, why not sex? Now just because it’s scheduled it doesn’t mean it has to be boring and quick. Think about that special night; maybe do a few extra things to make it special and memorable. By doing this, you bring the spark back into your relationship. Since it went so well, you will schedule it more often and next thing you know, it will become spontaneous again.
LOCK YOUR DOORS
When the couple has children, their intimate life is virtually diminished. The reason is that they fear the child will walk right into the room and catch them in the act. That thought scares them, mostly the women. What you can do is simply lock the doors before going to bed. As soon as they are truly off to sleep, as funny as this may sounds, lock the door and go for it. Remember, you need to spend time with each other.
STOP OBSESSING
Women tend to obsess too much about their bodies after a while. As they grow older they are concerned about cellulite, baby weight, age, etc. They wonder if their partner notices these things and if they find them attractive. They may have noticed these things and obviously don’t care because they want to be with you. These things simply mean nothing to them. They are happy with you, find you attractive and are excited by you. When you obsess it puts pressure on them and then they begin to obsess about their performance. Once this happens, no one will be happy.
INITIATE
Be a little more open with each other. Why do you have to wait for the other person in the relationship to ask or initiate sex? Why not take charge and do this yourself. Men can go up to the woman, hug her while she is cooking, kiss her, whisper in her ear, be playful, and get her going. Women can do the same. She can come up to him while sitting in a chair and speak softly in his ear, maybe a light kiss. Caress his shoulders and with men, you can run your hand lightly up his thigh and this will turn him on in a heartbeat. When couples do these sorts of things, their partners will respond. It will make them feel sexy, wanted and desired.
Those feelings give them a rush and are willing to be intimate more often. Adding sex back into your relationship more often will strengthen the love you feel for each other. It will make you feel wanted, sexy and desire. These are feelings that both men and women need in their lives. Intimacy is another way of showing them how much you need them and love them. Whenever you find your relationship in a slum when it comes to sex, quickly turn that around.
Many couples have gone their separate ways due to this. They have cheated on their partners looking for sex, not love. No matter how much love there is, the physical part has to be part of it to survive. If by making simple changes, such as these, do not help your sex life and you are both in love with each other, then it may be necessary to seek professional help. There are sex therapists that can help a couple with their bedroom issues. Couples should not feel embarrassed that they had to seek this help. On the contrary, be happy because you are willing to do anything to save your relationship.