Parents are concerned about their children.  They have to know where they are, who their friends are and what they are up to.

When they reach those teen years, they become very secretive and share less and less with the parents.  So how do you keep track of them without violating their trust?

It’s not that the parents are paranoid or don’t trust their children, it has to do with what we see and hear all the time on the news.

As parents, you want to protect them at all cost and help them avoid any type of trouble.  If you were to ask parents if they have checked up on their kids, looked through their rooms, checked their emails, the show of hands would be a high number. So what do you do, should you trust your child or check everything they do?

Try to be honest with your children, build a bond with them as they are growing up.  Let them know they can ask you anything and be open minded.  Don’t freak out if they ask you about sex, pregnancy, drugs, etc.  These are questions that you should answer and not anyone else.  Usually if you build these bonds as they grow up, they will trust you enough to tell you when something is truly wrong.  But it’s also understood that parents have gut feelings and it is an instinct to protect their kids, just be careful and don’t alienate them completely.

GPS

Nowadays you can track your kid via their cell phone or if they drive, by installing a computer chip in the car.  Experts say this is just too much.  Play it by ear, if your kid has never caused you any problems or has never been any real trouble, don’t bother with this.   Now should they get into trouble, then sit down with them and explain to them that until they regain your trust, you will be monitoring them.

Cell / Text

Remember when there was just one phone at home and it was in the living room?  It was there for a reason, so your parents could hear everything you were saying.  Today everyone has a cell phone.  Kids love texting, you know this because you have had to add the unlimited texting plan otherwise your phone bill would be sky high.  Many kids don’t realize parents can read their texts.  If you plan to do this, only look for things that show they will get into trouble.  Should you catch them in a lie, for instance, they stayed at a friend and snuck out to a party; don’t alert them that you know.  Instead, wait and next time they ask to stay over a friends, say no there isn’t enough supervision.

Journals

Girls love to keep diaries or journals.  In there they write down their biggest secrets, their problems, situations, etc.  As a mom, you want to know, trying to protect her from falling in with the wrong group or guy.  But they have to grow up and need their privacy.  Remember your youth and how upset you would have been if they read your diary.  Instead of reading their private thoughts, get closer to them.  Show them you love them and well want to know more about them.  Only snoop if there are signs of true trouble.

Emails

The internet is a great tool but at the same time a bit dangerous.  You can block certain websites and monitor them constantly.  However, it’s best to sit down with them, talk to them about the internet and let them know if they use it incorrectly you will monitor them constantly.  If they have a web page whether it’s Facebook, MySpace, etc tell them you want to glance at it once in a while, a quick look.  Make sure they know not to put photos or information that could cause them problems.