There comes a time in our lives that we sit back and ask ourselves if we are happy with our lives. It’s not because we are going through a mid life crisis.
We ask ourselves that question because we have finally decided to admit that we are not happy. All this time we have been making believe all was okay with our lives.
We convinced ourselves to accept whatever came along because it was easier then dealing with our feelings.
Now this did not happen overnight, this has been going on for a while now. Once we admit this, the next step is to find out what is making us feel unhappy. We will have to basically dissect our own lives. One thing that may make many of us unhappy is our job. How can we tell? When we are unhappy at work we find it difficult to get up in the morning. During the drive to work we complained and whined about how much we hate it. Once we walk in, we become tense, aggravated and cheery people begin to annoy us. At one point, our attitude will stink and it won’t be easy to hide.
Is it our home life that is making us unhappy? This is an even bigger problem because it’s not the actual living space that makes you unhappy, it’s your relationship. When this occurs, we find that we stay at work longer. We try to convince anyone we can to go to happy hour with us or dinner. When we can’t find someone to accompany us, we go shopping. We think of every excuse possible to stop anywhere, all this to avoid going home. When do we know it’s really bad? Well, when we finally get home we sit in the car for a long while before going in. At times, many of us have stood outside the front door and have begun to cry. The idea of going in is awful; it drains us of all our energy.
Another problem that will bring us down is our finances. It just seems that we can’t make ends meet no matter how hard we try or work. Nothing ever seems to go right and it feels as though we have stepped into quicksand and it’s sucking us in. We become depressed because we work so hard and feel we have nothing to show for it. It seems that we can’t even buy ourselves a pair of new shoes, shirt, blouse, anything. Our life is basically all work and no play. Our finances can cause us to be unhappy in everything else in our lives. Since we can’t make ends meet, we feel our jobs are worthless and begin to hate it. Our home life is a problem because that is where all our money goes and if we have a partner that doesn’t help out, even more so.
So what should we do when we feel this way? Well it would be great if we did as many do in the movies. One morning wake up and say, “The hell with all this, I’m not taking this anymore”. We could walk into work, go straight to our boss and tell them what they can do with the job. Tell them exactly how we feel and what we think about them. Go back home and tell the person we live with, “it’s our way or the highway”. Hell, if there are no children and it doesn’t seem worth it, tell them to get out. Then with what little we have, hop in our car, head to the airport and take a trip to anywhere we want to go. See, it’s great to dream but we can’t do that. We have to be more responsible.
The first thing we have to do is make changes in our lives. First, begin to look for a new job. Sure things may not be going great out there but there are jobs and you will find one. At our place of employment we can check and see if we can transfer to another department. This alone can make a big difference and a pay raise. We need to stick to our work hours, 9 to 5 every day. Take our lunch break and go out with a few co-workers or just sit in a park somewhere getting fresh air. It’s not a good idea to sit at our desk and eat lunch. Also, we need to use our vacation and personal time, get out of the office. We all need a break at some point.
At home, we need to speak up and let the person or people we live with know we are not happy and changes need to be made. Everyone at home needs to pull their own weight, we are not their slaves. A couple can share the chores. When it’s time to cook, the two of them can make dinner. One can do the laundry while the other vacuums. If there are children at home, they can take turns in helping the kids with homework. Also, just because they are children, it doesn’t mean that they can’t do a few things around the house. Making sure they keep their room clean and learn to put away their clothes and toys does not mean you are turning them into slaves. On the contrary, you are teaching them responsibilities. When we were young, we had to do them which allowed us to become responsible adults.
Make sure to treat yourself once in a while. Does this mean you are selfish? No, you have worked hard and deserve to pamper yourself once in a while. Go out and buy yourself a new outfit, new gadget, go golfing or go to a spa. When we deprive ourselves, we become frustrated with our lives. We get depressed, tired and bored. All we think of at that point is how much we want to escape from our lives. Life is not only about working hard all the time and tending to others. It’s about enjoying life simple pleasures. At times all we need is a good walk in the park, sitting on a park bench, reading a good book or just watching people go by.
When we are unhappy we can find many things to blame but the one person we don’t blame is ourselves. What we need to realize is that we allow others and things to make us unhappy. Our happiness is in our hands. We need to step up and take control of our lives. When we notice things are starting to go bad, we need to put a stop to it and take control of it. Don’t allow anyone or anything to make you unhappy or make you do something you don’t want to do. Sometimes this happens because we are trying to please others.
This is what we need to keep in mind, we need to please ourselves. We are no use to others if we can’t take care of our own lives. Some therapist teach us that we need to put ourselves in first, second and third place. After we have pleased ourselves and taken care of our own needs, we can help others and only if we really want to. Once we have changed things in our lives and are happy again, we need to make sure we keep it that way. Don’t allow it to become monotonous or boring again and definitely don’t allow yourself to become unhappy. Live life to the fullest, enjoy every day, share with those that truly care for us, help when we can but never let anyone else’s burdens become ours. So tomorrow when we wake up, we should take a deep breath and ask ourselves if we are happy. If not, then let’s get to work, it’s time to make a positive change to in our lives and take control of it.