Do you remember the first time you met your partner?  Your heart was beating so hard you thought everyone could hear it.  As you walked closer to them, you felt that you were walking on air.

You tuned out every noise around and person around you.  That moment was all about them and every moment after that.

It was so great; you couldn’t wait to see them again. If you had a date planned, time would go by slowly and it was horrible to concentrate on anything but them.

We all have felt that at one time or another.  The feeling is incredible; it’s like being a teenager all over again.  Your one wish is that it never ends and that each day, you both fall deeper in love with each other.  As the months go by, you move in with each other, share a home.  This is wonderful because now you can see each other every day.  A dream come true, with all your heart you hope this is that special relationship that will last forever.  In your mind everything went perfectly but did it?  Did it really happen the way you remember?  Or did you forget or ignore a few things about the beginning of the relationship hoping things would change later on?

When we meet someone and fall in love, we should accept them the way they are.  The love you feel for each other should be unconditional.  However, as time goes by, you begin to realize it’s not that way for them.  You may love them, faults and all but they don’t feel the same towards you.  So what do you do?  You do everything you can to win them over and then you realize that no matter what you do it’s never good enough.

Now you start to think back to the beginning of the relationship and remember certain things they said, how they behaved and the truth as to why they moved in with you.  It wasn’t for love, it was for convenience.  They needed someone to help them out or they felt lonely.  This whole time you have been with them, planning a future with them, you were just another person in their life, a stepping stone until they found what the person they really want to be with.

You realize that, yes they tell you about their lives but only what they think you should know.  Yet they question you about everything.  You may suspect they are speaking to another person.  You find out they are, ask them nicely and they lie to your face.  This is another stab to the heart.  But why do you stay with them after all this?  The relationship can’t survive on your love alone.  These are some of the reasons we all choose to stay in loveless relationships for as long as possible.

• Stability - we are scared that when we get older you don’t want to be alone and you hope this person will be there for you.
• Age – the older we get the harder it is to get into a committed relationship.  Time is running out and we want a family.
• Loneliness – we may be tired of being alone and we believe even if it’s not a good relationship at least we are with someone.
• My last chance – some of us feel there is no one else out there.  This is it and we have to do whatever we can to keep this relationship. 
• Self Esteem – we believe that it was a miracle this person even looked our way.  No one else would bother, this is as good as it gets.

Once we notice any of these signs, it’s time to call it quits.  Staying in a relationship that you give and they do all the taking is not a healthy relationship.  One thing we all do is make more and more mistakes in a relationship like this out of fear.  We tend to keep secrets to avoid arguments and will do just about anything to keep them by our side.  Sad part is, when they decide to leave they will and never look bad.  We are left with a broken heart and spirit.  Trying to figure out what else we could have done to make this relationship work.  But, no matter what, you will survive.  When you first separate it may be hard but you will survive and there is someone else out there for you.  Just give yourself a chance and no matter what, don’t let anyone make you feel less than what you are.  Someone out there will appreciate you for you.