Arguments in a relationship are unavoidable but if we take a moment and think about them, they are repetitive. We argue about our children, friends, families, intimacy, time, etc. It seems as though we can’t get past them.
The reason is because they are never resolved. We don’t take the time to listen to each other. When we are arguing we only hear our side and only our side. Usually the argument ends because both are tired of yelling and they walk away but they never come to an agreement.
During an argument, we believe we are always right and could care less what the other person is saying. It doesn’t work that way, it takes two to make a relationship work and two to destroy one. To end these arguments, we have to figure out what the true conflict is and fix it. Of course, it’s not easy, it takes time, patience and understanding. Most of all, we have to learn to compromise. It is suggested that if a couple can’t resolve their issues on their own but they do love each, they should seek counseling. At times, an unbiased party can help the couple realize what the problem is. One thing to remember though, don’t seek counseling hoping that they will say the other person is wrong and you are right. That is not going to happen.
As hard as it may be to believe, couples argue about intimacy. One is satisfied with little and the other wants to be more intimate. When the intimacy is not at a high level one will feel neglected. The problem here is they don’t speak. They keep it all bottled in and as time goes by, they become angry. The fights only put pressure on the partner and they are less intimate. Sit down and take the time to talk about this situation, calmly and clearly. You may both find out that this frustration you both feel is not about intercourse but more about feeling closer, more intimate.
When it comes to children, couples argue quite often. The problem here is that both have different beliefs as to how the children should be raised. One is too gentle and the other too harsh, the two just never agree. This is great for the kids because they have learned to pit one against the other and get what they want. A way to put a stop to this is to become a united front. The kids need both parents to discipline and nurture them. Whenever one of the kids misbehaves, both should sit down talk about the punishment, come to an agreement then speak to the child. This keeps the peace at home and the children will benefit from this in the future.
The family is a big part of a couple’s life and sadly, not all get along. So when those special holidays or events come by, the arguments begin. It could be due to various reasons, conflicts within families, misunderstandings, or too much time with them. There is also the situation where one never wants to be with the other’s family at all. These arguments can get ugly and at times can end a relationship. As couple, we can’t push the other to avoid their families and if we love them as we say we do, we should sacrifice a little. At times, these arguments cause a person to be pulled in different directions causing more problems than necessary and putting them in a spot to choose.
We can’t forget money, when there isn’t enough of it we get frustrated and begin to take it out on each other. May be one is a spender and the other is a saver. The arguments also occur when it is a one income family. Sometimes there isn’t enough money and to force a person to pay all at one time is impossible. The arguments will continue on and on. What has to be done is a couple should sit down and come to an agreement as to when the bills can be paid, have a realistic time frame. All the bills can’t be paid on the 1st as many may believe, some do have to be shuffled for the next check. As you can see from all of this, the one point coming across is to learn to communicate with each other. If the couple really loves each then they will be willing to compromise and learn to listen. Both have valid opinions and should mutually respect each other.