Is it a good idea to remain friends with an ex-lover? This all depends on the individual person. 75% of those asked this question said no.
They did not want to see their ex again, much less be their friend. Why is this? Well it’s due to the break-up. The one person that does the breaking up feels they can handle the friendship.
The other person can’t because they still have feelings. Not only are they still in love with their ex but they are angry and hurt.
Being friends with an ex-lover that you still have feelings for is hard. The idea of seeing them with someone else or watching them behave as though nothing ever happened between the two of you, is painful. Once the break-up occurs, the first thing you want is distance. You want to get as far as possible from that person. It’s not that you hate them, even though at times you will, it’s because you can’t behave as a friend. You want more, you want them back, and you want that relationship to continue. It would be hard for that person to control their emotions. The moment they see them with a new love interested, jealousy will come into play and it could get ugly.
It takes time to get over a break-up and staying as friends will only make those feelings linger for a longer period of time. This gives the person the idea that they may still have a chance of getting back together. There may be moments where they may want to be intimate and the other person may give in for old time sakes. However, this only makes it more difficult because a person can start to believe all is okay, things are back to normal. When they realize this is not going to happen, they become angrier and even more hurt. They begin to feel as though they are being used.
They can’t have a normal conversation as friends would normally have. The one party doesn’t want to know about the hot date the other one has or had. The night of passion they shared with that new person. It’s uncomfortable and every time they say anything is like a stab to the heart. They may be acting as a friend, only to be close to their ex because they just want to see them. They can’t wait to hear their voice, smell their cologne and be near them. If their ex just touches their shoulder they fall to pieces. But they don’t want to see them with another person, much less know that they were intimate with them.
The only time that many agreed they should remain as friends is when children are involved. Children have a hard time dealing with their parent’s separation, they don’t understand. So, if their parents are always arguing or saying mean things every time they see each other, it will make it even worst for them. For the children’s sake, both sides should come to some kind of agreement and be pleasant with each other. This will allow the children to see that even though mom and dad are no longer together, they are still a family.
Is the one party that doesn’t want to be friends, wrong? Are they being silly about this whole situation? No, they have every right to decide what is best for them. Not seeing their ex or talking to them constantly can help them move on and heal faster. This allows them to close that chapter of their life. By doing this, they can end up with some good memories and less anger. It’s best not to push your ex into being your friend. Let them go and don’t make them feel bad for choosing to avoid a friendship. In the long run it’s most likely the best thing for the two of you.
Don’t be shocked if they see you in public and avoid you. If you call them and they don’t answer or return your call, let it go. This is their way of saying good bye. It’s also a good idea not to ask your ex for help or favors. They will do them for you but out of obligation and will end up hating that person. See they see it as though the only reason they wanted to be friends is for the things they could do for them, nothing else. Friendship may have been offered with good intentions but one party will feel it’s like getting scraps since they can’t have the whole package. So, it’s best that both go their separate and end things as peaceful as possible. Don’t hurt them even more by making them feel they are wrong.