When you are in a new relationship, you do everything possible to make it last longer. You want to make this one that will be forever.
You do things as keep up your appearances, being more pleasant, more understanding and flexible. Women will make sure they are trim and fit, their make up is always perfect and that in the morning, you don’t really see what they look like.
Men will also keep fit and try their hardest not to turn into pigs, so as to not scare their girlfriends.
But as time goes by, things change and that is due to the comfort level they feel in the relationship. They have learned to love each other no matter what and well, feel that their significant other can handle the truth, or so you would think. That is not always the case and when comments are made, feelings are hurt.
This goes for both men and women. See, many believe that only a woman’s feelings can get hurt, that is not the case. Men have feelings too but they hide their hurt a little better for a little bit. When feelings are hurt, comments are made that are not so subtle and then the arguments ensue.
When trying to get a point across to the other person, it is good to think long and hard how this should be approached. It’s all in how the comments are made. If they are short and demeaning, you can’t expect a good response, of course the person will be offended.
Here are a few things you should not say to your girlfriend if you want the relationship to continue:- You have put on a little weight; I think we should go on a diet together.
- Did you get new shampoo because your hair looks frizzy
- Shouldn't you be getting a size bigger, that one looks too small
- Why do you always have a weird look on your face?
- I can do anything you do and better
- Do you need to talk so much, take a breather?
- I'm not the type of person that stays committed
- If you don't have sex with me I'll just get it from someone else
- Let’s have a threesome
- You should consider having a boob job
- Isn’t there something you can use to get rid of that facial hair, especially the moustache?
These comments are a sure way to end your relationship and getting slapped. No woman wants to hear these comments, even if they are true or just a joke.
But as it was mentioned above, men have feelings too and to make sure they are not offended and insult you back, try not to say any of the following comments:
- Not only are you cheap but you have no taste.
- Your breath smells, you are burning off my eyebrows.
- Why can’t you be more like my ex, he knew what to do in any situation.
- There’s this guy at the office I think you should talk to, he could give you pointers on clothes.
- You’re not all that in bed, it’s alright
- Your family is really weird
- I can’t stand your mother, is she always that uptight?
- Can’t you do something better than watch sports
- You truly are a Neanderthal
- You’re not that sexy, stop dreaming.
Why does this happen in a relationship? Well, when two people are comfortable, they seem to relax too much and at times, lose respect for each other. It starts out with a little joke and from there it escalates. When the first comments are made, we just let them go. We figure if we ignore them, they won’t be said again and a fight will not ensue. However that is not the case, because you kept quiet, it gets worst. If we have to let our significant other know how we feel or what we want, we can get our point across but in a more acceptable way.
All you have to do is think before you speak. If you can’t find a nice way of saying what you want, then maybe you need to let it go or wait until the other person brings up the topic you want to talk about. There are just certain comments that can end a relationship so fast you won’t even notice until it’s too late. They bring distance between couples without a moment’s notice. Whether you are a man or a woman and you find your sex life boring, don’t make any negative comments about it. Instead find a way to change it. Why not say, “I was wondering if you would like to try something new tonight in the bedroom.
Let’s spice it up and add more fire to our lovemaking.” Show them a picture, make it fun and exciting. As you can see this doesn’t sound like an insult, it is more of an adventure and it will not hurt anyone’s feelings. When it comes to weight, we are all sensitive, especially since most of us have some type of low self esteem. To get your significant other to lose weight, how about, “Honey, I notice I may have put on a couple of pounds and would love to get back into shape. I sure could use the moral support; want to join me so that way you can keep me honest and motivated?” You have just made it sound as though it’s only to help you out but you have gotten them involved.
Another thing to remember above all is that no matter how mad you get, never, ever compare them to an ex of yours. There is nothing more hurtful than that. A woman should never compare lovemaking, bodies, shapes, etc and the same goes for a man. Making comparisons of your present girlfriend/boyfriend to an ex will only bring you more problems. You are adding feelings of insecurity into a relationship that may already have problems. No one wishes or desires to be compared to an ex, good or bad. It only means that the ex is part of the relationship.
A relationship involves so much, such as love, affection, friendship, understanding, sharing, caring, etc but most of all it includes respect. Respect each other above and beyond everything else; once you lose this, there is no turning back. No matter how hurt you feel, never retaliate by being even nastier than they were, be honest and open. Talk it over with them an explain how those comments made you feel. Remember if you don’t like nasty comments being made of you, definitely the other person will not like them either.