There is a saying that we should always remember, “be careful what you wish for”. This comes very handy when we start wishing we could get back with our ex.
During the time we are crying and mourning the loss of our relationship, we spend the whole time wishing we could get back what we lost.
We believe that we can make it better and this time around it will be perfect. Then one day, that wish comes true. What happens next depends on how or why the relationship ended.
If during the separation the couple was able to work out their problems and come to term with whatever caused their separation, they will be fine. It could be that this time around they will last forever and be able to have the relationship they always wanted. They may even end up getting married and having a family of their own.
Then there is the possibility that the relationship will not make it at all. This happens when the couple decides to ignore their problems and have gotten back together again for reasons other than love. Their reconciliation may be due to loneliness, can’t or won’t move on, obsession or just accustomed to their old life. Sometimes people can’t deal with change. Whatever the reason may be, the first few days or weeks when they reconcile may be really great. It seems perfect and they may be happy as can be, however, they seem to forget that nothing is ever perfect.
Since the problems were never truly solved, they may still have grudges or resentment towards each other. At first, it may be easy to hold back these feelings. That’s because they are happy at first to be with each other and their desires are heightened due to the time they were apart. Once those feelings or desires are exhausted and everything goes back to the way it use to be, those feelings of anger, hate, resentment, etc come to the surface.
If at one time they thought their arguments couldn’t get any worse they will soon come to realize they were wrong. They will start to argue again and more often. Their arguments will be about old issues plus who was responsible for the breakup and how much they hurt each other. But it won’t stop there; they will find themselves being watched constantly. Everything they say or do will be scrutinized constantly. Basically the relationship will seem like a prison. It becomes torture because they have to be careful of what they say, do, act, etc. Things that can cause a couple to hate each other are constant badgering, nitpicking and insults. One will feel the need to continue hiding things while the other continues harassing them.
Before they know it, the love they once felt has turned into hate and then the arguments will get nastier. They find that everything they once loved about that person, they now hate. We have seen it in many movies and it seems funny. We have seen movies where they begin to play dirty tricks on each other, such as ruin their cars, trip them, tell people nasty things about them, repeat a secret that was told, do things to their food, etc. They can’t stand to be touched, kissed, caressed or make love with each other. Their behavior in public will seem fake or forced. The funniest of all is when they kiss and they begin to make funny faces.
In real life however, it’s not funny, it’s sad. The thought that two people who loved each other so much can now hate each other with a passion is horrible. This is when they begin to realize they should have never reconciled in the first place. When they separate for the second time, it will be permanent and any hopes of a friendship are gone. The only good thing about this is that the person is now over their ex and can move on, somewhat. Now they don’t wish to get back with each other they want revenge.
What caused them to make the decision of getting back together again, memories. They make us melancholy and wish for our old life back. However, that is all they are, memories. Why ruin those good memories by replacing them with awful ones of violent arguments, insults, hate, etc. What we should do when our relationships end and the issues were never solved is find the strength to move on. Use those good memories to remind you what is great about love and what you really miss. Don’t waste your time on something you know has no hope. Put all that energy in finding a new love, creating new memories plus this time around it may be the relationship you truly desire and deserve.