Many of the pregnancies are unexpected but once the couple is over the initial shock they are enthusiastic. They can’t wait to find out if it will be a boy or a girl.
Once they know they begin to pick colors for the nursery, think of baby names, pick baby furniture, etc. Of course, we can’t leave out those that will come over and help with the baby for the first few weeks.
This couple will have some adjusting to do but they have each other and a lot of help from friends and family.
But what about an unexpected pregnancy and it’s a single mom? It’s not a simple decision or a will it be easy for her. Once she decides to keep her child she then has to decide what she will do next. Her next decision will depend on her financial situation. If she is financially stable, she will be able to do this on her own without any problems. However, if she is barely making it on her own she will most likely return back home. This is not uncommon, at least back home she will get some help with the baby and not have to worry if she can make ends meet.
Of course the parents will be shocked and will ask if the father will be part of the baby’s life. They will also try to see if she can contact him; maybe see if he can share with the responsibilities. What they are trying to find out is if there is a possibility that they can get together and make a home for the baby. One thing no one should do is marry because there is a baby on the way, especially if they are not a couple. Best thing to do is to help with the responsibilities but remain separate. Should they get married and love is not part of this union, they will have a difficult marriage that could end in an ugly divorce.
Once the single mom has settled back home, the family will do all they can to help. They will give her both emotional and financial support. Once the baby arrives, they will all take turns to help out. If the grandparents are retired or the mom is home, she may even take care of the baby while the mom works. This whole situation can work out great for all. This gives the mom a chance to then get back on her feet, save money and eventually find a place for her and her child.
But sometimes it doesn’t work out this well. A lot of single moms find the whole situation difficult and can even become depressed. Some moms forget just that, that they are moms now and as soon as they can, they start going out with friends, dating, clubbing, etc. They forget they have responsibilities, there is a child now and they have to take of that baby. Their behavior is as though they never had a child and no worries. They leave the responsibilities to those that are helping her.
Now the grandparents find themselves taking care of their grandchild and their daughter. They have to clean up after both, do everything, stay up with the baby and the whole time where is the mom? This happens a lot and especially if the mom is very young herself. This is neither fair nor right. The grandparents are there to help not take over the responsibilities. They already did their share in life bringing her up. Now it’s her turn to return the favor by taking care of her own child. The worst part is when some moms decide that this is not for her and one day packs up her clothes and leaves the home. Or worst, she can come home one day and announce she is pregnant again and this time there is no excuse, they were irresponsible.
Whether the woman is married or not, she has to really think long and hard about having a child. Until they are sure of what they want to do they should use contraceptives. If you are a single mom and you have the help of those that love you and are around you, learn to appreciate it but don’t abuse it. They are there to help and support you. The responsibilities are all yours not theirs. Having a child is a blessing but they can be a handful. Everyone will enjoy them and those around will help rear them but remember, at the end of the day you are the mom and you should be the one to take care of them always.