There is one thing we all dislike and that is being judged by others. We get angry because those that talk about us don’t have all the facts. They base their comments on idle gossip or what they believe is to be true. This can be hurtful and damaging to us in many ways.
Anyways, who told them they had the right to judge us? They don’t know what we went through or how it all happened. This can be quite frustrating. Now, if we feel bothered by this then why do we do this to other people?
Why do we talk about our friends, neighbors, family, co-workers, etc? What gives us the right to judge them? As much as it bothers us, it will bother them. For instance, you’re at work and a co-worker is fired. Immediately everyone in the office begins to snoop around because they want to know why. They will find out some information and begin to form their opinion or their reason as to why they were let go. The interesting part is that no one, outside the managers and human resources office, knows the truth. So why make up a story?
Well, soon after we make our conclusions as to what happened we begin to judge those involved. It could be about the co-worker that was let go or management. Somehow, at this point, we realized that they had an attitude, didn’t do their work correctly or was just looking for trouble. Are we sure about this? Could it have been due to another reason? What if it was you in the hot chair, would you feel comfortable knowing that those that worked with you had somehow formed an unpleasant opinion of you? Of course not, it would make you angry and hurt your feelings. So much so, that next you run into them, you let them have it.
Another juicy topic for judging others is a break up of a relationship. The couple split up and we begin to blame one of them for the break up. How their behavior was uncalled for, they were always flirting, clubbing, hanging out, etc. Had they stayed home more often they would still be together. We begin to scrutinize their lives and judge them for their behavior. Is it our business to do this? This isn’t surprising at all, most likely during the time they were together, you were there judging them all the time. Probably telling them how they should live their lives, what they should do, how they should behave in public.
One thing we are also guilty of is what we see on the news. Sure, half of the time what we hear is true but the rest of the time they embellish the story to make it more interesting. Here is one instance, due to the problems with the economy, many lost everything they have. They find themselves destitute and on the streets. It gets so hard that they become desperate. Some will go out and rob stores, banks, etc. They made it look funny in the movies. But it isn’t. While some steal others can’t bring themselves to this so what do they do? Well, they take even more drastic decisions, they take their own lives. When we see these news report, we begin to say how stupid they are, how could they be so ignorant, why didn’t they get help.
Well maybe they did but remember you don’t know what they felt or thought. Was it right for them to do any of these things? No, but we shouldn’t judge them. Think about it, what would you do? Until you are going through the same thing, you shouldn’t say anything. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. We all go through ups and downs. Sometimes the situations we get into are due to the decisions we have made in our lives. Other times, it is of no fault of our own. It’s true what they say; we are sometimes at the wrong place at the wrong time. Yet, no one should judge us for our errors, instead give us a hand. When we start judging others, we are also gossiping and more than 75% of the time, making up information as we go along. We look like busybodies. No one will respect you or care to talk to you. Not only that, every chance they can they will point out your faults when you begin to judge others.
It’s like living next to a nosy neighbor. We all have these. They spend their time peaking out the side of the curtain or through the peep hole of their door and comment on everything their neighbors do. They see something odd and immediately begin to tell everyone what they saw and begin to pass judgment on them by talking about their behavior. It gets so bad that by the time this busybody done talking, the people she is commenting on are drug addicts, thieves, thugs, drug dealers, etc.
Here is an idea, whether you have all the information or think you do, don’t make a comment, don’t gossip or judge anyone. Remember, the next time it could be about you. Unless you walk in someone else’s shoes, you really don’t know the truth, why it happened or what drove them to it.