We are told as children that we should never lie.  They can only get you into trouble.  Yet as we grow up, we hear our parents tell lies, our uncles and aunts, grandparents and everyone around us.

When we question them as to why they lie, they proceed to tell us that those are white lies.  They had to say that lie in order to spare their feelings or to avoid an argument.

So, we as we grow up, we come across situations that we believe lying is the right thing to do at that time.

Many will say they never have told a lie.  See, that is a lie.  But why is it that we think we don’t tell lies?  There has to be some logic behind it, no matter how odd it may be.  Well it has to do with feelings.  Every time we lie, it has to do with either sparing someone’s feelings, avoiding an argument or just covering something up until you have enough time to fix it.  Now those you lie to may forgive you and others will just push you away because they feel they can no longer trust you.  Of course, they have told their own lies, they just won’t admit to them.

One thing that all have done at one time or another in a relationship is lying about money.  When it’s time to pay, we just don’t have enough money.  Instead of telling our partner about this, we hide the fact by lying and borrow from someone else.  Now why do this?  Wouldn’t it be easier to just tell the truth?  Not in all relationships, some will argue with you about the money situation.  Accusing you of spending the money elsewhere, never taking into account the financial burden you may be bearing.  So if in the past you told the truth and all they did was argue over and over again, you found that lying actually was a better choice.  That way you didn’t have to argue about it and no one was hurt.

Another lie we may tell has to do with family.  When our families are a bit on the crazy side, always doing something stupid our partners get frustrated and sick of it.  We can’t completely turn our backs on them, especially when they have been there for you a million times or more.  So when your partner is angry at them, you hide the fact you are helping them.  Again, it’s not to hurt anyone, you just want to help.  Of course, it can and will eventually blow up in our faces.  It will even cost us our relationships.  We were put on a spot to choose and it’s hard to choose between people you love.  Your partner just can’t understand it, but again all they do is argue with you when the truth is told.

These white lies are helpful but painful to you and those you love.  It would be great to live in a world where you could tell the truth and not be punished for doing so.  See, everyone wants you to tell the truth but let’s be honest, do they really want to hear it?  No, not really because it’s not what they really want to hear.  So what do you do?  You lie to make all happy.  Sad part is they don’t see that, you are just a liar.  Think of this, how many times you have spared your partners or friends feelings by lying.  When a partner or friend asks you how they look, do you outright tell them they look horrible?  No, not really, you will spare their feelings because you don’t want to hurt them.  There are occasions we see that one of our friends or family member is betrayed by their partners.  When we go to them and tell them the truth, do they believe us?  No, they don’t, they accuse us of trying to destroy their relationship.  They just don’t want to hear the truth, it’s painful.

In a relationship, whether it’s between parents and children, mates, friends or co-workers, lying may be part of fear.  In these relationships there is one that is afraid because the other is judgmental and controlling.  The desire to avoid an argument or punishment is greater than telling the truth.  So, as you can see, a person can be forced to lie.  Should we be punished for lying when we did it to spare them and ourselves of an argument?  Should we push them away after all they have done for us and all we have been through because of they have lied?  Have we considered that we may have pushed them in that corner?  That we may be partly responsible for their inability to trust us enough to tell us the truth? 

Whenever you are faced with this problem instead of arguing, sit down and talk.  Listen to why they lied, take a good look in the mirror and see if you in a way participated in this problem without even noticing it.  No one is perfect or free of blame.  For those of us that believe we don’t lie, think again.  What are you keeping locked up in that little safe of yours?  Are you hiding money, papers, pictures, what could it be?  Well, see it this way, if you are hiding it because the other person will get angry then you are lying.  So, next time your mate, friend, child, etc lies to you, think twice before you pass judgment.  No one is completely truthful and maybe they sense your hiding something so they do the same.  If you want them to be truthful, you should be too, no matter what.  By doing this, the lies will stop and this could bring all those more closer together, but it has to be done equally.